"I hate cruises" is one of the most common things I hear from people who have never cruised the way I book cruises.
It's a completely reasonable reaction — if the only cruise you've ever pictured is a 6,000-passenger mega-ship. Nearly every complaint people bring up is real. It's just a real complaint about a specific kind of cruise, not cruising itself. Here's the honest, unromantic version of what people actually complain about, and why none of it holds up on the ships I book.
The Complaint vs. The Reality
| What People Say | What's Actually True on a Small Luxury Ship |
|---|---|
| "Trapped with thousands of strangers" | Regent, Silversea, and Seabourn carry 458–750 guests — some as few as 100. A crowded elevator isn't a thing when the whole ship is smaller than one deck of a mega-ship. |
| "Nickel-and-dimed constantly" | Regent, Silversea, and Seabourn include gratuities, most dining, and most beverages in the fare. The bill you signed up for is the bill you pay. |
| "45-minute buffet lines, cold food" | These ships don't run mega-buffets at all — dining is restaurant-service, often with a specialty-dining chef, not a cafeteria line. |
| "Rude, drunk passengers ruining dinner" | The demographic and price point self-select — this is consistently the top complaint on mass-market ships and essentially a non-issue on small luxury ones. |
| "Norovirus, poor hygiene" | Outbreak risk scales with passenger count and turnover speed. Small-ship, lower-density sailings are a fundamentally different exposure profile. |
| "Dated cabins, cheap carpet, no space" | Suites on these lines start where mega-ship "premium" cabins end, with actual living space and, on lines like Ritz-Carlton Yacht and Explora, genuinely design-forward interiors. |
| "Rushed ports, no real destination time" | Azamara is built entirely around staying in port longer, including overnight stays — the opposite of a 6-hour drive-by port stop. |
| "Forced formal nights, tuxedos and gowns" | These lines have quietly dropped the mandatory formal night — elegant resort-casual is the norm most evenings, with an optional dressier evening here and there, never a requirement. |
| "Constant upselling — art auctions, photo hawking, spa pressure" | Art auctions and hard-sell photo desks are a mega-ship revenue tactic. You won't find them on Regent, Silversea, or Seabourn — the fare isn't built around onboard upselling. |
| "Overrun with kids, no adult atmosphere" | These ships skew heavily adult, even over holidays — none run a mega-ship-style water park, arcade, or kids' club scene. It's simply a different demographic. |
| "Slow, expensive WiFi — can't stay connected" | Regent, Silversea, and Seabourn have been rolling out fast satellite internet fleet-wide — a real departure from the WiFi mega-ships are known for. |
| "Same touristy ports, souvenir shops, cruise-line crowds" | Azamara's longer stays and Ritz-Carlton Yacht Collection's ability to dock in harbors too small for mega-ships mean you're not standing in line with 4,000 other passengers at the same stop. |
| "Herded onto big-group shore excursions with strangers" | Small-ship excursions run in far smaller groups — often 12–20 guests instead of a busload — with more flexibility to go at your own pace or book something private. |
The Honest Caveat
84% Go Back Anyway
Even among mainstream cruisers dealing with every complaint above, a large majority say they'd cruise again. The category isn't broken — it's just that most people's only reference point is the loudest, most crowded version of it.
If "I hate cruises" is really "I hate crowds, hidden fees, and mediocre food" — that's not a cruising opinion. That's a mega-ship opinion. Worth a five-minute conversation before writing off an entire category of travel.